Thursday, May 12, 2016

DAY 8—Taking A Road Test

During one of my many freak outs today, a wise man said this to me—we are not always in control of what’s in the road ahead of us, but it’s how we navigate it. 

He went on to say that I have a tendency to put obstacles in my own way, which makes me swerve all over the place… Truer words were never spoken. I tend to overthink every little thing, dissecting it to death and fearing a million variables which may or may not even exist. The biggest thing I worry about is how others will feel when I do something—will they be upset, sad, will they understand? 

But I think we all do it, right? Take the kids—I was all about the cry-it-out-method until I was sobbing on the floor outside the door begging my husband to me let go in as the baby’s cries went right through my heart. I always want them to be strong and resilient but I also want them to be able to share their emotions. {Of course I don’t always want that, for example, do I want a child to show exactly how disappointed they are when a parent won’t buy them the Mr Potato Head Darth Vader and suddenly you have sobbing 3-year-old saying you don’t love him anymore at the top of his lungs at the local Target? Of course not. Umm, I heard that happened to unfortunate mom…}

And it goes beyond kids—I hate canceling plans with a girlfriend or when I mess up my music classes {say you are attempting to sing Happy Birthday and your friend Amy has to change keys 25 times in 5 seconds to make it work. Again I heard that happened to someone somewhere…} I worry about how I’ve made them feel… and hope it isn’t bad or mad…

It’s all those little things that that I put in my own way each day, it can weigh me down and I get breathless carrying it all around. Based on the guidance I got today, I am going to try to calmly knock down a few obstacles and continue down the road toward a few decisions that I need to make… 

Pretty glad I married that guy with the good advice.

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