Thursday, May 30, 2013

"The Gift of Siblings"

Fist-Pump (again, again and again!)
I just read the New York Times "The Gift of Siblings" article, and I gotta say, nothing could be truer. I believe that families come in all shapes and sizes and each one is special, whether you have one child or you're doing things Duggard style. But my desire to have two kids was fueled by my relationship with my brother—and this writer, Frank Bruni, totally understands, he just nails it in this piece.

See I love my brother Sean something fierce, I always have. Our connection is a like a sturdy rope, sure it's frayed at the ends and it's knobby and knotted, but it's totally unbreakable. He gets me in a way no one else in the world can, which I think comes from a life of shared experiences. And Bruni explores that very thought through Jeffrey Kluger's idea that our siblings are "perhaps the only people you’ll ever know, who are with you through the entire arc of your life." There is something incredibly powerful about that. These people are always there, always traveling along the same timeline with you, before friends, before your husband or wife and sadly after your grandparents and after your parents.

But he also acknowledges that this relationship needs to be cultivated amid many obstacles, like distance and pure laziness that can splinter that gorgeous arc you're building. It's true that I don't get to see Sean as often as I'd like and we may not talk every day, but when we do, an hour can pass in mere seconds. And thanks to a shared life, filled with good, bad, awesome and ugly moments, I never feel censored, I can say anything to him, even the most childish, petty stuff without judgement {well, most of the time!}

Bruni says "[Siblings are] less tailored fits than friends are. But in a family that’s succeeded at closeness, they’re more natural, better harbors." As siblings, we are always trying to stand out from each other, we seek success in different ways so we can find our own moments to shine in the light of our parents and peers. But it's those differences that actually make us better friends, each one brings something unique to the party—and I can't think anyone I would rather party with than my brother.

My most-favorite part of the article is when Bruni quotes a friend, who says, "They’re the only people in the world you can be your worst self with and they’ll still accept you."
And that's just it, isn't?

I can only hope that my boys follow in the footsteps of their incredible uncle—my brother. No one hugs harder, laughs louder or cares deeper. No one is more loyal, more charismatic or more dedicated.
He is truly my other half—and the best companion and confidant to build an "arc" with. 
Sean, thank you. By letting me be my worst, you brought out my best.
Love you.

PS. We both sleep-talk, when were young and would sleep in the same room, we would have "sleep conversations." {Creepy, right?}
PPS. We both have clairvoyant dreams—OK they are the most clumsy examples of clairvoyant-ness at best, but they are true and they are real, like the time I woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air while Sean was in a car accident miles away. {Even more creepy, right?}

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