Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Toilet Papers, Vol. 87

Yup, I called it that. I also considered The Commode Chronicles or The Potty Diaries, but there is just something so fabulously awful about The Toilet Papers that I couldn't resist.

Confession: I cannot get Liam to use the potty.
To say that I am flush (get it!) out of ideas is putting it mildly. We have tried everything from sticker charts to rewards to time outs to underwear/naked weekends and nothing seems to work. Nothing.

Before I had kids, I totally didn't get it. And I deeply regret mentally shunning other parents when I heard that their 2 year old was still in diapers. I admit it. I was a jerk. And I am sorry I judged. I just assumed all kids were trained before they hit 3 years old. I naively thought the little pee-pots just woke up one day and said I am going to wear underwear and use the potty today and forever always. Talk about a rude awakening… I had no idea how difficult it would be to teach another human being to control their urges and use a toilet.

So back to Liam… He wears a Pull-Up and our goal is to have "dry diaper days." Underwear isn't always an option because he needs to remain in a diaper at daycare for health reasons, which I understand and honestly agree with. For the most part he does awesome with that, providing that I watch the clock like a hawk. I am manic about his food/water intake and try to time each pee break to the minute because if I am even slightly off he will pee in the diaper, on his clothes, on the floor, where ever. And the best part is (wait for it) he doesn't seem to care. He is absolutely fine being in a wet diaper, content sitting in a puddle on the couch (don't worry, you can still come over, we sanitize, we're not animals!) and plain-old-happy playing in pee pants. However, when he has an accident, we make him change his own clothes. Plus, we try to explain to him that it is unsanitary (completely gross) and to be a healthy boy he needs to use the potty.

His daycare seems to think he isn't mature enough to "get" it, but I think he is playing all of us. Their theory, and it's a good one, is that he isn't putting the urge and the action together. But just before he has an accident, he goes into a corner, which makes me think that he knows more than he is letting on. We tell him  that instead of walking to the corner (or hiding under the table or going behind a bookshelf,) simply head to the bathroom instead. Seriously, at this point we would reward him with a potty parade in his honor if he had an accident in the bathroom, as long he made the attempt to get there.

With hectic travel schedules and my grandfather passing away, we lightened up on the potty pressure over the last three weeks. Secretly I was hoping that if we gave him some space he would naturally gravitate toward the toilet. Not so much.
So with this kid quickly approaching the ripe old age of 4 and rapidly outgrowing the largest size of Huggies, I am planning a potty party this weekend. I'm talking water, snacks and Batman undies. Does it get any better?

I am also happily taking advice, so talk to me…

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